What can we do?
Posted on 01. Dec, 2009 by Laura in Uncategorized
At the moment there are many blogs about the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children.
Sally recently wrote an article that centres around the question “what can we, as men do?”
Both her and Sam Wilson offered some tips on what men can do.
But honestly this is not about what men can do. This problem is not up to men alone, to solve. It is a collective responsibility of every single person in the country – men, women, children and grown ups.
While Sam offered some practical ideas – like donate money – which are awesome and I do believe those organisations do need more help. I think the answer is simple – BE KIND!
If every man spoke with kindness to his partner. If he respected her. If he listened. If he walked away when he needed to. If he loved her when it was hard for him. If he supported her even if he felt it was the wrong choice. If he listened when she said she was tired. If he was silent when all he wanted to do was yell. If he said thank you.
That would go a long way in stopping the cycle of abuse. His children would see that. They would learn the kindness, the respect, the tolerance. They would learn how to be strong husbands and respected wives.
But the women needs to remember too, to speak with kindness. To love when it is hard not to. To accept the things she wants to change. To be silent when she wants to say “I told you so”. To be respectful. To walk away. To be patient. She needs to remember to say thank you.
Her children would learn that. They would learn the kindness, the respect, the tolerance. They would learn how to be strong partners and respected husbands.
Friends need to remember it also. They need to support when they dont agree. They need to listen when they are tired. They need to offer a helping hand when it is needed. They need to speak kind words – words of respect, love and friendship.
Their children will learn to be good friends.
Brothers and sisters need to remember it. Cousins, uncles and aunts need to remember it. Colleagues and bosses need to remember it. Cashiers and call centre agents need to remember it.
In remembering it we are teaching lessons to our children. Lessons in respect, love and tolerance.
Abuse begins for so many reasons and has so many causes. Some are easier than others to resolve but ultimately I do believe that if we all start by being kind to one another, we will be able to eventually stop the need to yell, scream, hit, hurt and destroy.
Some very strong women have also contributed blogs to this campaign.
Tertia tells you how you can help
Squid Squirt speaks out as a dad
Talita asks us to break the cycle
If you have a story you want to share then mail me laurakallmayer@gmail.com
Harassed Mom » Blog Archive » Who is thanking the men?
Dec 1st, 2009
[...] I have more to say about this over here [...]
Wenchy
Dec 1st, 2009
You know I’ve been reading all the articles and have a wonderful (not) story of my own to tell… but I don’t really want to go back there and replay it…
That relationship lasted eleven years of my life… and I am glad I ended that cycle of abusive crap.
Sally
Dec 3rd, 2009
I actually was asked by a man what he could do, I was trying to say that it was more than just what men can do. I agree with you, it is about what we all do and what we teach our kids.
Julia
Dec 7th, 2009
Such a fabulous article. At the end of the day it really does start in the home…xx